Sexual Behaviour of Children

Sexual behaviours of children aged 0–4 years: infant, toddler and preschool

Age-appropriate Sexual behaviours:

• Touching or rubbing their own genitals
• Enjoying being nude
• Showing others their genitals
• Playing doctors and nurses
• Playing mummies and daddies
• Touching or looking at the private parts of other children or familiar adults
• Using slang words/dirty language for bathroom and sexual functions, talking about "sexing"

Concerning sexual behaviours :

• Persistent masturbation that does not cease when told to stop
• Forcing another child to engage in sexual play
• Sexualising play with dolls such as "humping" a teddy bear
• Touching the private parts of adults not known to the child
• Chronic peeping behaviour

Very concerning sexual behaviours:

• Persistently touching or rubbing themselves to the exclusion of normal childhood activities; hurting their own genitals by rubbing or touching
• Simulating sex with other children, with or without clothes on
• Oral sex
• Sexual play involving forceful anal or vaginal penetration with objects

Source: Johnson 1999, Johnson & Doonan 2006

Sexual behaviours of children aged 5–7 years: early school years

Age-appropriate sexual behaviours

• Self-touching including masturbating
• ‘Show me yours/I’ll show you mine’ with same-age children
• Hearing and telling age-appropriate dirty jokes
• Playing mummies and daddies
• Kissing/holding hands
• Mimicking or practicing observed behaviours such as pinching a bottom

Concerning sexual behaviours

• Continually rubbing/touching their own genitals in public
• Persistent use of dirty words
• Wanting to play sex games with much older or younger children
• Continually wanting to touch the private parts of other children
• Chronic peeping behaviour

Very concerning sexual behaviours

• Touching or rubbing themselves persistently in private or public to the exclusion of normal childhood activities
• Rubbing their genitals on other people
• Forcing other children to play sexual games
• Sexual knowledge too advanced for their age
• Talking about sex and sexual acts habitually

Source: Johnson 1999, Johnson & Doonan 2006

Sexual behaviours of children aged 8–12 years: pre-adolescent

Age-appropriate sexual behaviours

• Occasional masturbation
• 'Show me yours/I’ll show you mine’ with peers
• Kissing and flirting
• Genital or reproduction conversations with peers
• Dirty words or jokes with their peer group

Concerning sexual behaviours

• Attempting to expose others’ genitals
• Sexual knowledge too advanced for their age once context is considered
• Preoccupation with masturbation
• Mutual masturbation/group masturbation
• Single occurrence of peeping, exposing, obscenities, pornographic interest (sources include the internet, pay TV, videos, DVDs and magazines)
• Stimulating foreplay or intercourse with peers with their clothes on

Very concerning sexual behaviours

• Compulsive masturbation, including task interruption to masturbate
• Repeated or chronic peeping, exposing or using obscenities
• Chronic pornographic interest including child pornography* (sources include the internet, pay TV, videos, DVDs and magazines)
• Degradation/humiliation of themselves using sexual themes
• Degradation/humiliation of others using sexual themes
• Touching the genitals of others without permission*
• Sexually explicit threats – written or verbal*
• Forced exposure of others’ genitals*
• Simulating intercourse with peers with clothes off
• Penetration of dolls, children or animals*
• For children aged 10–12, these behaviours may constitute criminal offences such as indecent assault, indecent act, or sexual assault (common law).

Source: Ryan 2000

* For children aged 10 - 12, these behaviours may constitute criminal offences such as indecent assault, indecent act, or sexual assault (common law).

Source : Raising Happy children and providing safe childhoods - A Reader by Ministry of Women and Child Development